The first time you have sex is different for everyone. 

You and your partner decide together what you want to do. You do not need to have sexual intercourse. If you do not feel ready, you do not have to do it. You can have sex in many different ways.

Try to relax. Taking your time can help.

Make sure nobody can disturb you. You will be more relaxed.

Make sure you are both aroused enough. Stimulate each other, for example by exploring each other’s body.

Talk to each other about what you like and what you do not like.

A boy and a girl having sex for the first time

If it hurts a bit

It may hurt a bit the first time you have sexual intercourse. There can be different reasons for this: 

  • A woman will be less aroused if she feels scared or insecure. Her vagina will remain too dry and her pelvic floor muscles contract. The vagina becomes too tight. Then penetration is difficult or impossible. Try to relax.
  • The foreskin of the man’s penis may be too tight and not slide well over the glans. You can make this better by regularly pulling the foreskin over the glans. If the pain remains, you should go to the doctor. Men who have been circumcised no longer have a foreskin.

Orgasm

You will only discover what you both like and how and when you can have an orgasm after some time. You do not always need to have an orgasm. Get to know each other better and gain experience.

Translate this text into:
Close

Dictionary and translations

Looking for help? Find a health professional.

Help